Dear Olivia,

I know, I’ve fallen behind in my posts to you. It’s not out of anger or because I no longer find these posts helpful for my own well-being or because I’m scared what one might say when I write about something. Life just has a funny way of continuing on despite you being ready or not. I feel like a dog (me) tied to a car bumper (life). This is a total reference to National Lampoon’s Vacation. If you haven’t seen this movie yet, I’m incredibly disappointed in you and you’re no longer my favorite child. To refresh your memory, the dog is tied to the car bumper, forgotten and then the car drives away. The dog tried to keep up but obviously didn’t make it in the end. Don’t worry, the dog was a total jerk so it’s ok that he didn’t make it. I’m a jerk sometimes too but I’m Momma so I’m allowed. I’m currently being dragged by life and it’s moving too fast for me to jump back on my feet so meanwhile I’m just lying here, being hit by various rocks and potholes until life decides to slow its ass down.

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Dear Olivia,

You are 8 years old. Is there anything more frightening than that? Ok, 16 will be terrifying but I refuse to think that far ahead. 8 is a huge number although I feel this way with every passing birthday. You are the oldest in your class and I’m still very happy with that decision. You love school, you’re confident in your ability to learn new tasks and you seem emotionally capable to handle the onslaught of tests and demands that second grade thrusts upon you. From what little I remember from my own second grade experience, I remember just learning to read. Now in second grade, you’re pretty much expected to already know how to read and to read well. I was an anxious child and I was one of the youngest in my class. I suffered from anxiety when presented with tests and work in school. I didn’t realize it then but when a project or an activity was given to me that I deemed too difficult or confusing, I began to hyperventilate and eventually I would begin to cry. Kids would loudly announce, Jennifer is crying again! I even remember on a few occasions, teachers looking obviously annoyed that I was in tears yet again and they would walk over and say, why are we crying this time? Not exactly a nurturing environment to learn in. I don’t know if my age played a factor into this or whether my lack of preschool contributed or perhaps none of these things mattered. Perhaps I was just an anxious kid. I’m happy to see that you’re the exact opposite when it comes to school and learning.

I don’t know why but this looks reminds me so much of Brian Fellows

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