Dear Olivia,

I’m not so sure how I feel about you becoming a teenager. Personally, I think I’m in shock that we’re at this momentous point in your life. It feels just like yesterday I had you sitting on a training potty in the middle of the kitchen, anxiously waiting to hear a tinkle tinkle and now you’re in my kitchen making cheesecake from scratch. The kitchen is really the heart of the home.

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Dear Olivia,

First, let’s start off by saying you’re a great kid. Really phenomenal. This year has been nothing short of a dumpster fire but you’ve been a delight for most parts. This could partly be because the pandemic has sucked just about every ounce of joy and care from our souls and we threw screen time rules right out of the window making you a happy camper. We’re in survival mode people! I can’t listen to whiny children on top of deafening news about a global pandemic, racial injustice, raging wildfires and a corrupt government. You want to play Animal Crossing? Great, do it! You want to draw in Procreate? Wow me! You received an urgent money transfer request from an unknown person but they’re in dire need and you want to act fast? Nope, that’s a scam.

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Dear Olivia,

Writing to you again is kind of like seeing an old friend you haven’t seen in a long time but you pick up right where you left off and all seems right in the world. Like, you’re exactly where you should be. I enjoy these times when I can talk to you because it’s one-sided and you can’t roll your eyes at me and exhale and shout, I KNOW!

I made the conscious decision a couple years back to cease my monthly letters to you because as you get older, your life, your secrets, wishes, desires, become more sacred and private and I want to respect that for you and ultimately, I determined that your life is not my story to tell. 

Having said that, I will keep this post brief but I wanted to acknowledge another of your journeys around the sun.

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Dear Olivia,

I know, I’ve fallen behind in my posts to you. It’s not out of anger or because I no longer find these posts helpful for my own well-being or because I’m scared what one might say when I write about something. Life just has a funny way of continuing on despite you being ready or not. I feel like a dog (me) tied to a car bumper (life). This is a total reference to National Lampoon’s Vacation. If you haven’t seen this movie yet, I’m incredibly disappointed in you and you’re no longer my favorite child. To refresh your memory, the dog is tied to the car bumper, forgotten and then the car drives away. The dog tried to keep up but obviously didn’t make it in the end. Don’t worry, the dog was a total jerk so it’s ok that he didn’t make it. I’m a jerk sometimes too but I’m Momma so I’m allowed. I’m currently being dragged by life and it’s moving too fast for me to jump back on my feet so meanwhile I’m just lying here, being hit by various rocks and potholes until life decides to slow its ass down.

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