Month 23

Month 23

Dear Olivia,

Well we have definitely had our fill of each other this past month.  We started the month by going up to a cabin in Arnold, CA with Erma, Merrik, her sister and a few other mom’s and their kids.  It was the first time we had been away, just you and me, without the help of your father.  You did amazing considering the long long days spent at lakes, creeks and just sitting in the car.  Watching the other kids certainly made me thankful that you’re my child.  I may complain and get frustrated at your outbursts and whining but a couple of these other kids were borderline demonic.  For instance, one mother in particular who argued with her 4-year old the entire week, was told at one point by her daughter that she was pissing her off.  When you’re around people like this, I have the immediate impulse to grab you and run for fear that you will observe and respond.  You were nothing like the other kids but it was still exhausting nonetheless.  you went to bed late and woke up before everyone else.  Problem was you would wake up a good couple hours before everyone else so we stayed holed up in our room until we could hear the others.  It was a good time but I’m looking forward to doing it again without the extra baggage in the midsection.

Your father has been traveling a lot more this month which has given us ample alone time.  We definitely get to each other at some point and usually it culminates in to one of us in tears.  I’ve never been so exhausted and at the same time, forced to scrape up what ever energy is left in my body to keep up with you.  You have immense amounts of energy that it makes me want to crawl under the bed and come out in 3 years.  At times it’s almost nauseating.  I mean you’re freaking adorable and everytime I see you I want to buy you something because you’re so cute but when you’re bouncing around me, screaming high pitch bird calls in my ear, repeating Momma over and over again – I can actually feel the acid rise up in my throat.  I don’t understand how preschool teachers do it.  I guess their saving grace is they have a clock-out time as opposed to me. 

This last leg of the pregnancy has been brutal – just being tired because of that and keeping up with you has been a challenge to say the least.  I’m trying my very hardest not to get frustrated at the hundredth potty accident or when you throw yourself on the ground because you don’t want to pick up a book.  I feel I’m doing better simply because I don’t have the energy to get upset but I have to remind myself that you’re not even 2.  We have a whole lifetime to be frustrated with each other.  I’m also aware that we have very little time left with it just being you and me before it becomes you, me and baby.  I want to thoroughly enjoy this time because I know it will never be the same.  It doesn’t mean it will be bad, just different.  You wake up brutally early but we have begun a new tradition that takes the edge off the fact that I wake up before birds.  We come downstairs and snuggle together on the couch and watch cartoons.  I love this moment because you’re still tired enough that you’re not bouncing all over the place or asking for something.  You’re simply just snuggling in to me and we’re just being.  I love that moment.  You sometimes even let me get in another 20 minutes or so of sleep while you watch the cartoon Toot & Puddle whom are two closet homosexual pigs who wear scarves and travel together.  I don’t have a problem with homosexuality, I just really hate that cartoon.

Your father and I have just returned from a much needed 2 night getaway and I have returned refueled and ready to take on the final 6 weeks of the pregnancy while chasing you around.  We can get through it because my beloved Starbucks beverage is available in 2 days!  I find it funny that in the 2 days we were gone, you learned to say “you’re welcome” and “no way.”  I’m not quite sure who you picked up “no way” from but I guess it’s better than just plain “no” being screamed at me every other second.  It’s good that you’re shaking it up a bit – variety is the spice of life, remember that.  Your birthday plans have commenced and my nesting is ramping up so I predict the next month to be busy again.  We will pull through this kid-o and you just might get a most excellent gift for your second birthday which I hope will keep you distracted for hours upon hours.  I love you O-bear and I look forward to cuddling with you tomorrow bright and early.




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