Month 30

Month 30

Dear Olivia,

I’m writing this in early April which means we survived our family trek to DisneyWorld.  Holy cow, what an experience.  Don’t get me wrong, I have memories that I will cherish forever but it was a busy busy week.  Between the rainstorms to tornado warnings to constantly breaking down the stroller and schlepping you and your brother all over kingdom come, we survived with minimal bruising, all of our limbs and part of our sanity.  You were hesitant to meet the characters at first which is to be expected.  Where else do your parents hand you over to a 5 foot mouse with giant hands and ask you to smile to complete strangers while they take a picture of you and all the while you should be acting like this is a joyous thing?  In theory, it sounds like a total whack-a-doo concept especially if you don’t know who the characters are, which in your case was true.  You got familiar with this practice relatively quickly and by the end of the week, you were asking to see “more characters” right off the cusp of saying goodbye to the previous character. 

I was a total emotional basketcase the entire trip.  I used to tease my mother for being sensitive.  Funny thing, whether you like it or not, the traits you find the most obnoxious in your parents will most likely be the traits you inherit so keep that in mind when you perfect your impersonation of me behind closed doors.  I was a blubbering mess; I cried when we made that first turn around Main St in the Magic Kingdom and you saw Cinderella’s castle for the first time.  I cried when we walked in to Fantasyland and you saw the Dumbo ride for the first time.  I cried when you rode the Carousel by yourself.  I cried when you met Snow White, Mickey Mouse and any other character I could get my hands on.  Those were a lot of tears and that’s not even counting the tears from sheer exhaustion.  We had a running joke that the so called water rides at DisneyWorld did not operate on actual water but was in fact the tears of parents.  You could pretty much guage at which stage of the trip families were on by their facial expressions and the length of their fuses.  I witnessed one father almost decapitate his son’s head because the kid accidentally stepped on his foot.  In any other situation, a passerby may think, “geez dude, he’s just a kid – lighten up.”  But in DisneyWorld a passerby thinks, “that family must have had their fill of Disney magic – they’re reaching poisonous proportions!”  Like I said, it was an incredibly wonderful trip filled with tons of memories and I don’t regret any of it.  We’re still tired three weeks after the fact but we survived to tell the tale.

Now, I don’t want to brag and boast what an extremely talented individual you are because I’m no child expert but it must be noted, the achievements you made this month.  You can not only color within the lines, you are drawing actual faces.  Now, I’m not talking about portrait worthy pieces but you can clearly make out that you are drawing a face.  You’re two and a half!  Maybe every other kid your age is doing this.  Hell, maybe every other kid your age understands color theory and is moving on to creating great masterpieces mimicking Seurat.  I would like to play the ignorance card at this time and take pride in the fact that you are becoming quite the little artist. 

You have become quite the lovely person in the morning.  As I take you to the bathroom in the morning, you always comment on how much you love my toes.  Your father on the other hand gets the biggest compliment of them all.  As your father dashes to the shower in an attempt to hide from you, you quickly break in to the bathroom and tell dad how much you love his butt.  It’s a little weird and it’s sure to embarass the hell out of you when you’re older but who doesn’t like a compliment of that magnitude?  Especially in the morning when you’re feeling a little bloated and a little less than lovely and here is this darling little angel declaring what a fabulous behind you possess.  We really are the lucky ones.  Miles, too, is fortunate enough to receive these compliments from you.  You adore watching your brother and lately your brother has picked up a typical boy habit of playing with his nether region when ever he’s exposed.  During a moment you were beseeching compliments upon Miles, your eyes slowly made their way down to where Miles was exploring and you said, “I like your . . . . bellybutton?”  Yes, Miles is lucky enough to have 2 bellybuttons and we’ll leave that discussion for a later time.  Although, if your brother keeps up this new habit, we’ll probably be having this discussion sooner rather than later.

I am beyond excited that I received your acceptance letter to a preschool for later this year.  HALLELUJAH!!!  What will I ever do with this precious gift that has been laid upon me?  You will be gone for two half days a week and I could not be more excited.  I love you but I have never wanted to roll out of a moving car as many times as I do when I’m with you.  We need some time apart if you’re going to survive past your fifth birthday and if I can get through the next four months, we will be golden! 

You’re an intriguing one that’s for sure.  You’re developing a fantastically sarcastic personality that fills my heart with so much joy.  I enjoy the moments when you’re the most vulnerable, i.e. first thing after a nap, and I proceed to take the high road and make sure to be the most annoying form of human you could ever imagine.  It’s part revenge and a tinge of boredom on my part.  Growing up, I was relentlessly teased by your Grandpa and as I grew older, I learned to dish it back to him.  You too will learn this as you reach the right age but until then, deal with it.  Yes, I relish in the victory of teasing a toddler in to submission but it’s the little things that keep me going.  Nobody said parenthood was perfect . . . .




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