Month 22, Version 2.0

Month 22, Version 2.0

Dear Miles,

I’m sorry to inform you but Olivia has turned you in to her very own life size doll.  You are at that right age where you’re gullible enough to do what ever she says and still small enough that when you don’t want to do something she tells you to do, she’s still bigger than you and can for the most part, overbear you and make you do what it is she’s asking.  Thanks to the gentle and creative hand of Olivia, you are now one of the gals in the O’Donnell household.  Olivia will not play with you until you put on your heels and wear your tiara or a necklace.  I have watched her attempt to get you in a skirt and that appears to be where you draw the line.  Olivia doesn’t see the benefit in fighting you on this one so heels and tiara make up your princess attire.  She then announces it’s time to “rock and roll” in which you then prance around the room with Olivia in your matching heels.  Adorable.  I think you love this or you could be taking out your revenge by waking up at the crack of dawn and startling Olivia out of slumber by screaming, “YA-YA” over and over again until she acknowledges you. 

I am quite terrified of your temper.  I’ve never seen a child exhibit such passion over very miniscule things.  Obviously they aren’t miniscule to you but it seems rather silly to watch you act the way you do.  For instance, when I take your tooth brush away, you would think I just ripped off the head of your beloved stuffed lion.  You scrunch your face in this bitter scowl and smack what ever surface is at your reach and you stomp off mumbling what ever it is you’re trying to say.  This is a very common occurrence in this house – in fact, I’m confident in this statement that I will guess that this happens every 13.2 minutes.  You think I’m exaggerating but I honestly feel like I have a menopausal midget lady living in my house between the heels, mood swings and the medicinal smell from the Desitin that effervesces off of you.  You seem to be angered by the display of joy in this house.  Take for instance if I decide to enjoy a song by moving my body a little bit, you throw down your fork at the dinner table and shout, “STOP IT – DON’T DO THAT!”  I’ll test you to see where you draw the line and even when I mouth the words of a song, even that appears to be too much.  Apparently, you would be at your happiest if I were sitting in the corner with a blank expression on my face.

Recently, we took a trip to the beach with the group we normally go to Nanette’s cabin with but given the bad behavior you and Olivia displayed last year, we were not invited back to the cabin.  Instead, we decided to plan a low key one day trip to the beach.  I’m never sure how you, my little Missy Daisy, are going to respond to situations so I was prepared for Apocalypse Now when I had to put you down on the sand and force you to walk so I could carry the behemoth of items we packed for our jaunt.  You were ok and didn’t freak out – always a good sign.  We then came across a little pond that we had to cross to get to our spot and you followed Liv and Merrik in to the water without any defiance.  I seriously was watching you like a hawk because I knew those first few moments would dictate what kind of day I had in store for me.  You were laughing and smiling and I was ready to exhale when you suddenly tripped and face planted in to the water.  You quickly regained your footing and at that moment I felt like everything around me stopped – the waves stopped crashing, the seagulls stopped flying, people stopped talking – everything froze in the moment when I tried to determine how you were going to respond.  A miracle fell upon me that day because you started to laugh.  I was in shock but then it just goes to show you that you are a little mixed bag of emotion.  Overall you had a decent day given that you ate more sand than actual food and you got a wicked sunburn on your eyes.  Between you and Olivia, I should really make someone else apply sunscreen on you two.  I think the day would have turned out far more tragic had you not discovered the two scantily clad thirteen year old girls sunbathing next to us – that seemed to ease any discomfort you were experiencing.

You’re at the age where you think you can do everything yourself which is comical and terrifying at times.  Obviously, I can’t be at your hip every moment of the day and things are bound to happen that I have no control over.  Having said that, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear Olivia tell your Father that you dropped your tooth brush in the toilet and proceeded to brush your teeth with it.  You don’t want help when it’s clear as day that you need it but I don’t dare try because you make the biggest fuss there ever was.  It’s not worth the tantrum.  I learned this the hard way when I attempted to put a life-jacket on you so we could enjoy a leisurely ride on a paddle boat. It’s clear when you’re not happy about a particular situation.  Fine, if you want to eat flaming hot fried chicken that just came out of the fryer – you go for it Mr. Know-It-All because apparently you don’t have the time for it to cool down.  I have two very strong-willed children which is lovely when you’re out on your own but when I’m trying to steer you in a particular direction, that’s when I start to lose it.  I know, the woe’s of every parent and maybe one day, you’ll have the fortunate luck to experience this first hand.  When that day comes, I will happily dust off the prints of you in your fancy schmancy heels.  One word, Karma.




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