Month 47

Month 47

Dear Olivia,

Why must bedtime be such a production?  I know kids despise bed and they pull out every stop to prolong the inevitable but my goodness, I am spent when I finally get you down.  7:30 rolls around and I know the major hurdle of the day is upon me and I muster up every last ounce of energy I have left from the day because I know I’m going to have to enter this battle fueled up or I will no doubt fail or walk away with a splitting headache.  We have the crucial fight against who will brush your teeth followed by the smack down in the bathtub when you and Miles fight over a specific toy.  We then have the argument over band-aids followed by who gets to pick out the first book.  I started the habit of lying with you in your bed for a few minutes just to talk about the day and it has turned in to a pain at times.  It has become part of your bedtime ritual thus it must happen or you unleash your fury.  When it’s time for me to go, you then have to pretend to brush my hair while singing the Tangled song and then you have to pretend to give me a ponytail.  I say my goodnights but not before Miles makes me kiss every one of his friends in his crib – I keep removing stuffed animals in the morning to speed up this process but somewhere along the day, he puts them back.  I finally get to the door where you then proceed to ramble on for a few minutes.  About what you may be thinking to yourself?  I would love to tell you but it’s purely a ramble.  Again, anything to avoid bedtime.  I may close the door but I know I will be called back another two or three times before I can finally breathe a sigh of relief.  Thankfully you’re not one of those kids who keeps getting out of bed.  It’s just getting to the point where I can leave the room and you’re comfortable and situated.  Are you exhausted yet from reading this because I’m certainly spent just recalling it in my head.

We’ve had a busy month which seems to be typical for this time of year.  Your Dad has been gone for the last week and a half and still has just under a week left to go before he returns.  How Dad gets to take a vacation while I stay home with you and Miles is beyond me.  Your Father must have been drowned out by you and your brother screaming or I was elbow deep in crap when the subject was brought up because I’m not so sure I would have whole-heartedly agreed to this had I been in a normal state of mind.  Not that it matters much at this point because here we are.  Thankfully you and Miles have been mild-mannered despite me being sick the first part of the week.  I may have given in quite a bit and I will most likely suffer the consequences in the coming weeks but we do what we need to, to get by.  You are going through a state where you want to help me constantly so that has been a huge help.  I usually decline your offer because nine times out of ten, it’s more work to have you help me than vice versa but technically that’s not what it’s supposed to be about anyways.  Unfortunately you have a brother who wants to do what ever it is you’re doing so if you’re pushing the stroller, he wants to push the stroller.  If you’re putting peanut butter on the sandwiches, he wants to do it too.  I guess I should just be thankful you still want to be in the same room as me.

Thankfully you and Miles are playing together a lot better.  This has actually been a huge help to my day.  Now I use the word ‘play’ loosely because play for you means bossing Miles around and making him fetch things for you.  Obviously Miles doesn’t know any better or really craves your attention because he follows you around and does pretty much anything you ask of him.  I would step in but if you two are content and you’re not fighting, I’m going to take advantage of this newfound time.  I would like to report that I’m using this newfound time to read a trashy magazine or sit and watch a cooking show but typically this time is spent cleaning a bathroom, going pee in private or sitting in the pantry eating the two last M&M’s I discovered in my desk drawer.  Your Mother lives a glamorous life.

You started a new preschool class this past week and you’re pretty jazzed about it.  I think this is in large part due to the guinea pig that’s in the class.  As long as it stays there, we’re good.  I’m hoping there’s a few new kids in your class so you get a chance to make a friend – you haven’t quite recovered since the Sydney episode of last Winter.  You get along with other kids and even invite yourself over to their houses for play dates but none of them have stuck like Sydney.  It’s tough as a parent but I have to remain hopeful that you can do this on your own.  I also have to remain hopeful that the parents are cool too because let’s face it, who ever you become friends with, I will most likely have to share time with.  There was an awkward moment last week at your preschool when your past teacher made an introduction between me and another Mother because she thought you and the other boy, Joel, were playing very well together.  During your interaction, you invited yourself over to his house for a future date and the teacher thought this was absolutely adorable.  I find it embarrassing but moving on.  I’ve met the Mother before – she’s a lovely lady in passing.  Do I want to spend a great deal of time with her, not really.  I know you.  Just because you invite yourself over to someone’s house, doesn’t mean you have marked this person as your BFF.  The mother and I awkwardly looked at each other like, ‘do you want to make this happen?  Olivia, are you sure you want to have a play date?’  You and the other boy seemed a little indifferent so we quickly swept it under the rug and went our separate ways.  I know you want to make friends but can we think about who I’m going to have to spend time with?  Just saying. 

Your birthday is quickly approaching and I am so sorry to say, I am totally dropping the ball on planning your party.  At this point, I’m not sure we’re going to have a big hoopla.  Between your Dad being gone and your Dad being gone, I just haven’t had the energy to sit down and think this through.  You may have scared me when you told me you wanted to invite everyone in your preschool class and the thought of hosting a party with sixteen children nearly sent me in to a psychotic breakdown.  Parties are such a big deal and they cost a lot.  Not that I expect you to understand but that’s what I’m dealing with.  Not to mention but I’m a little OCD as well and when I have a vision, it has to be perfect and that is exhausting.  The guilt is getting to me and I’m sure you’re going to have issues in adulthood because you didn’t get that party you always imagined for your fourth birthday but it just may have to be.  I really am sorry though if this doesn’t happen.

Like I said, it has been a busy month and I look forward to things slowing down.  I enjoy those moments when you just want to sit at the kitchen table and paint pictures and listen to music.  You can write your name now all by yourself and it’s kind of a surreal moment as a parent when you see it on paper, written by your child.  You’re growing up and the milestones keep coming.  I appreciate your help this past week and am truly grateful you have kept the tantrums to a minimum.  Thank you also for being such a sweetheart to your Great-Grandma on her 90th birthday without me even having to tell you.  You stayed by her side most of the day and told her repeatedly how much you loved her.  Perhaps you’re not so evil after all – I remain hopeful.




2 responses to “Month 47”

  1. Loved reading your latest blog….you are an awesome Mom and some day Olivia and Miles will read your blog and enjoy all the great stories of their childhood. Just remember you DESERVE some time to yourself so take it whenever you can and NEVER feel guilty!

    When we were raising our kids I also wondered why the "Dad" got to do the traveling….and realized why he loved our family road trips more than me… he got to drive and enjoy the scenery while I, being the Mom, got to deal with the crazy kids and their antics in the car as we drove thousands of miles across country….lol

    Looking forward to your next blog! Hugs

  2. Thank you Dee. I quickly have learned the perks of being the driver on trips – never have I loved driving more!

    I hope to see you soon!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.