Month 21

Month 21

Dear Olivia,

I want to start this post by apologizing.  I need to apologize for a horrible habit you picked up from me and it is by total accident that it has been passed on to you.  You have started the habit of swishing your drinks.  It is a horrible habit that began for me when I was your age.  If you really want to blame someone here, you should blame your Grandpa Sparks.  He would swish the drink to get me to drink from my bottle and it stuck and ever since, I have swished my drink.  It is annoying and embarrasing but it’s how I have always enjoyed my beverages.  It was to my surprise that I saw you take a big sip of your water and proceed to swish it in your mouth.  I thought, maybe you’re just fooling around and then I saw you take the next sip and the next and you swished after each sip.  Again, I am sorry.  Your father thinks that I deliberately taught you this but this is absolutely not true.  This just goes to show you that you watch me too much.  Perhaps we need more seperate time.

Potty training is still going strong and I have declared that potty training you is my Everest.  I vow to conquer it and it will take blood, sweat and tears but I am determined!  I know there is progress being made but it is oh so slow.  You will soon learn that I am a woman who expects to see immediate results with whatever I conquer and it is extremely frustrating for me to have something progress so slow.  Our neighbors probably think we’re crazy for letting you run around butt naked after dinner but I’m telling from the hours between 7 and 8:00pm – it is a serious marathon pee session.  Just last night, you went to your potty and produced pee 10 times in 1 hour!  Who pees that much?  I personally got so exhausted taking you back and forth to the potty that this is my one form of sanity – to let you run around naked and figure it out for yourself.  It appears to be working because you’re playing outside and all of a sudden, you grab your bum and scurry over to your potty and it works!  Now, if I could only have the same effect inside.  You typically just stare at the pee running down your leg and point.  It’s a longer process than I ever could have imagined and I’m sure that maybe it would have worked out better if I waited a bit but with the impending arrival of your sibling and the fact it’s summer, I had to take advantage.  I realize I’m probably making this task harder by potty training you earlier but I got to do it.  The idea of two children in diapers sends chills down my spine.

I still have you in swim lessons and you are doing so well.  You are constant smiles whenever I even mention the word pool.  Your teacher claims you are an absolute natural and I couldn’t be more pleased.  Although, I wouldn’t expect anything less because I’m confident in saying I would have disowned you if you hated water.  Because of your confidence in the water, your teacher is becoming a little braver with you.  We release you under water and let you kick your way to the surface.  I watch the other mothers in class grasp their children with terrifying looks on their faces when we participate in this activity and the others must think I’m pure evil for releasing you so willingly.  Truth of the matter is, I’m not scared of water – nothing is going to happen to you.  These mothers think that if they let go of their child, they will suddenly be swept in to some vortex hidden in the center of the pool, having their child never return to the surface.  Perhaps that’s why you do so well in the water – you see that I too am enjoying myself in the water.  These mothers don’t understand why their children are so scared when they have a tense look of fear in their faces.  Obviously their children aren’t going to relax when their own mothers have a death grip on them.  

Your vocabulary is still growing much to our satisfaction.  In fact, your father is most pleased because this evening you learned the word “wine.”  Do you have any idea how long your father has been trying to teach this word?  Yes, I think we will go down as parents of the year for teaching you “oh god” and “wine.”  You are most definitely on the right track for success or therapy – it’s really 50/50.  

You are suddenly excited to wear dresses.  I almost feel like a bad parent for depriving you from them for so long.  I kept you out of them because you didn’t move very well in them but you are fascinated with them.  Once you’re in them,  you refuse to take them off.  You are already much more of a girly girl then I ever was and it’s a little scary.  Between that and your crush on the butcher at Whole Foods, you already have your father burying his head in his hands moaning.  Job well done dear.

You recently just met your baby cousin Jack for the first time and it’s a huge sigh of relief to know that you were actually excited to see him.  You didn’t try to hurt him or anything so fingers crossed, this excitement for babies lasts until your sibling comes along.  It was a little bit of a wake up call that I need to brush up on my baby skills though because in the midst of sitting on the floor with both you and Jack, Jack lept out of my lap and smacked his head on a toy.  I’m seriously amazed that you lasted as long as you have without any broken bones or severed appendages.  I guess my reflexes need a little dusting off.  

Watching you with your cousin was a clear indicator to your father and I that you are clearly a toddler now.  Infant status is long gone.  You are clearly a talking back, climbing on all sorts of furniture, stinky toddler and it really scares me.  We’re embarking on what I can only imagine as being a dark time.  I know your tantrums are only going to get worse and as your vocabulary develops, the talking back is only going to happen more.  I do find comfort in knowing that I have many years ahead of me before we take on teenage years and I will probably look back at this time and think, I had it easy-peezy.  I only ask that you please be kind to me.  Remember, I feed and clothe you damnit!  Cheers to another month my love!  Stay sweet and stinky as long as you can.




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.